The Man Within

by

Ruby Moon-Houldson

Now, shaking from fear and from uncertainty, Diana shifted her weight and the animal’s attention was immediately drawn back to her again. It looked to have tears rolling down its face. Its desolate eyes met hers and she stared deeper into them. One of its furry hands then encircled one of the bars. Diana swallowed hard as she slowly reached out and touched it. She gazed deeper into the animal’s sad, forlorn eyes. This animal was lonely, sad, lost, suffering from despair. It reminded her of...

“No,” she whispered as she nearly choked on the word. The animal quickly shrunk back and released a low, warning growl. “No,” she said again with a catch in her voice. “Dear heaven, it can’t be,” she whispered, her voice wavering. But there was no other answer. What she was seeing was... a werewolf. This creature standing before her was a werewolf.

Diana immediately sat down hard upon the ground in front of the cell and embraced herself with her shaking hands--realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. “It can’t be,” she whispered once again. She watched as the animal edged back into the shadows. It then went to the window and clutched the metal bars in its furry hands. It growled then released a soft whimper. It stared outside at the moon. Its actions, the way it stood and looked at the sky, it reminded her of...

“No, no, no!” she suddenly cried aloud. The animal, the werewolf, turned to look upon her and she saw a gleam of golden yellow flash through the dark space between them. “Oh, no, oh...” A tear suddenly rolled down her cheek and then one more followed. Soon, a torrent of tears flooded her eyes and flowed freely down her face. So this was the big secret. This was what Daxton had been afraid to tell her. “Daxton,” she whispered. “Oh, Daxton, how terrible,” she cried in a crushed tone of voice. Diana fought to get a grip on herself as she wrung her hands in disbelief. She then spied some clothes piled up in a corner of the cell. They were... Diana immediately cried out once again as her heart nearly shattered from the blow which befell it.

So this was it. Daxton was a werewolf. This was why he left her and the kids every month. Diana’s mind suddenly flashed back to the dates he’d been gone. They were always at the time of the full moon. It was then she suddenly realized they had never been together under the light of the full moon. The moon was always on its way out of that phase when she would look at it with Daxton. He had even commented a few times about the moon being a magical entity. He’d spoken often of his dislike of it. Why hadn’t all this registered with her before?

Daxton was a werewolf. It was hard to believe. Daxton was so right, how does one tell another person about their being a werewolf? If he’d presented such an incredible tale to her she would have thought him mad. Daxton had feared she’d leave him once she knew his secret. What woman would want a man such as he? What woman would want a loving husband and father, a hard worker, a man with a generous and caring soul, a man who was also a werewolf?

Diana thought on all that Daxton was. She thought on how much he meant to her. She thought about his loving ways. Who would want a man such as Daxton? She would... she did. She still loved Daxton. George was right. This only came two or three nights out of the month. She’d lived with Dax all these months and hadn’t known. She’d loved him then, what was any different now? The only difference was the fact she now knew what nightmare Daxton lived with every month. Did that make her love him any less? No. When he came home after going through this change, was he not a loving husband and father? Yes. Was he not a man? Yes. Did she not find love and contentment in his arms? Yes.

Her tears eventually slowed then stopped altogether. Where to go from here? Should she let Dax know she’d found out? Should she not tell him but instead work on him, nudge him into telling her what he was keeping from her? What about the kids? Was this to be their fate someday?

Her thoughts suddenly turned to Jennifer. The doctor had said she had a foreign gene or factor in her genetic makeup. Was it something to do with the werewolf part of her ancestry?

Diana’s mind suddenly switched back to her husband. How did Daxton live with this every month? If she were in his place she knew she’d go crazy or wish to die. Did it hurt to change into a werewolf? Did he know anything or anyone while in this state? Did he kill? What did he eat? There were so many questions but no one around to answer them. She didn’t know if she could believe everything which was written in books and portrayed on television about werewolves. If he bit her or scratched her, would she be turned into a werewolf? How had this happened to Daxton?

She watched as the animal sat in near darkness in a corner. She swallowed one more time then softly spoke to him. She didn’t know if he understood her or not but she wanted, needed to say something.

“Daxton. I’m here for you. Your secret is indeed terrible but my love for you hasn’t changed. I love you just as much now as I did this morning.” She watched as he stood and began to pace about in the cell. He seemed to have become agitated. It was as if he were looking for a way out. Diana stood and he immediately halted his movements and looked at her. She ever so slowly stepped closer to the cell door and he did the same.

“I love you, Daxton. I want to see you through this. I don’t want you to be alone here in this terrible place.” Then suddenly, without warning, he reached out to her through the bars. Diana slowly reached out to him and then carefully settled a trembling hand upon his claw-like hand. He immediately became excited and she gasped and jumped back for fear of what he was about to do. He immediately responded to her reaction. He seemed to dislike it, and he yelled out and quickly ran to the back of the cell, slamming his body into it.

Oh Lord, Diana thought in sudden panic. “No, Daxton, don’t!” she cried out. “You’ll hurt yourself! Stop!” After calling out to him several times he finally stopped, listened, then turned back to a corner and settled himself into it. “Oh, Daxton, no wonder you’re so tired whenever you come home. If you do this the entire time you’re here...” She shook her head. She then made the decision to stay with him for a little longer, but only for a while. She needed to get back to the kids. Still, she didn’t want to abandon Daxton either.

For another fifteen minutes she sat with Daxton, speaking softly to him. But when she stood to go he immediately flew to the cell bars. “I have to go now but I’ll be back tomorrow night,” she promised in a soothing tone. She slowly backed away toward the exit then walked out the door.

As she made her way to the car, she heard a howling liken to nothing she’d ever heard before. It sounded like an animal crying out in excruciating pain. She knew it was Daxton and she broke into a run to escape the cries.

She dove into her car and slammed the door, hoping her refuge would drown out the noise. Yet even within the confines of her car she could still hear Daxton crying out into the night. “Shhh, honey, oh, please...” She pressed a finger to her lips and closed her eyes tight. She so wished he could hear her, understand her. She hated the feeling that now swept across her. She felt like she was abandoning Daxton in his time of need. She was leaving him alone to fend for himself in a cold, dark world... just like the place where Laura had unmercifully thrown him with her cruelty and evil. Yet, what could she do? What? Her heart now a mixture of pain and regret, Diana started the car and made out for home.

~ * ~

Back at home, Diana carried in the dry cleaning she’d picked up earlier in the day and took in the cupcakes she’d picked up at the store after leaving Dax. She hurriedly stored the cupcakes in the refrigerator then checked in on everyone. They were watching one of their favorite shows on television. It was the last show they watched together right before they headed to bed.

After looking in on her family, Diana slowly walked upstairs and prepared Jennifer’s bed for the night. That done, she entered her room and went to stand by the window where she stared up at the full moon. It held a whole new meaning for her now. Now she knew it was what took her husband from her every month. The moon’s mysteries had a stronghold on her husband... a hold she’d never be able to break. Tonight she’d seen an animal, a mythical creature, but she knew if she looked deep enough, and with eyes of love, she could still find the man within.